As far back as he can remember...not a day passes without pain, without torture. Not a day without humiliation, fear, shaking, paralyzing fear, please don't call my name...leave me alone....please don't hurt me, leave me alone. please.
He is already strong willed, trying to save his life. It will take a lifetime. He is still trying to save his life. He know she hates him..he silently prays for help. no answer, of course...what is god?
She threatens to kill him if he tells anyone anything. So he agrees of course. She is a giant woman in the eyes of a child and would do it too. He knows what to do. Just agree. Don't cry, just agree, don't say anything.
You tell them it was you who burned it on the iron...if they ask...do you understand? I said do you understand. Smack, a burning sting on his face. do not cry, do not cry, do not cry. Now get away from me before i kill you. he survived....badly burned, welted, crying in pain,
She does nothing to help, die you little bastard.
no safety, no help, no way out.
She has done this before. He hates her to the core. he is only kindergarden age, 5 or so, very little for his age, cute as a button when his face is not distorted in pain. He is an innocent child, a beautiful boy, perfect, healthy, really sweet, so loving. He just wants love, he wants his mother to love him, he wants to be held, he wants to be loved.
nowhere safe, nobody safe. retreat, do not make a peep, make yourself invisible.
I know this child so well, I am he, a hardcore junkie, a red hot lover, a comics comic, a fool, a tortured soul, I love, I live, I work on it every day, with every breath.
this is how it was, at its most extreme, through every single day for fifteen years. Let me correct that statement with this, every day that there was not a possible witness other than my siblings. Yes they suffered too. Maybe not every day, but they did suffer greatly.
This is all I can do now. I will post occassionally as needed, to get it out, to warn the public, to educate anyone who will read this. So please feel free to pass it on to anyone who needs to hear the truth. to learn how a child is affected by this....reduced to nothing.
this is also a warning to those who are sensitive to these things, if you cannot deal with this posting...i suggest that you don't. It will be graphic, nothing held back. the full story as I remember it. As it comes flooding back from the places it has been hidden. deep in recesses of my secret world, in my head, heart, in my soal, kept secret. kept secret, very, very secret.
